I’ve received some emails from some women lately looking for legal recommendations. I think the understanding here is that I’m a woman you’ve grown to trust and my background in law may allow me to give worthy suggestions. I’m honored.

First of all, I’d be sure that whenever you are in need of a lawyer, if you can afford to be picky, go with someone you feel comfortable around. If you feel more comfortable around women, you should have female legal representation. If you feel more comfortable around people of your background (racial, ethnic, socio-economic, etc), you should have similar legal representation.

Second of all, respect their up-fronts and count on them to respect yours.

Third, read reviews but with an open mind.

Fourth, if you ever feel like you are being taken advantage of or swindled, tell your legal representation exactly how you feel, what lead you to feel that way, and what you expect them to do about it. Females are often discouraged from discussing feelings because it makes us appear weak which makes it easier for males in power positions (like your attorneys) to manipulate you without giving you an opportunity to express your concern. Be expressive. And if they don’t give you an answer that suits you and you haven’t hired them yet, keep moving.

And finally, of course the first search will be online because it’s 2016. But some law practices are more concerned with representing their clients fairly than having a fancy website. Take a website like this one for personal injury attorneys. It gives you all the information you need, it’s informative, it introduces you to the partners, and it has no unnecessary “bells and whistles.” Don’t discount a practice website because it doesn’t have unnecessary functionality like live-chatting or online submission platforms. You will still have to deal with humans throughout this process, so you should start by meeting the humans.

I keep trying to convince you readers that my approaches to healing are not *hokey* but I actually don’t find anything wrong with hokey healing. Sure there is no scientific evidence for the effectiveness of crystals, but if people believe crystals are making them better and as a side effect of that belief, they begin to get better – then didn’t the hokey crystal work?

Now this “power of placebo” is not limited to holistic healing but (my opinion alert, don’t sue me!) because most holistic healers and practitioners and users tend to be female, it’s not taken seriously. For example, it’s pretty “hokey” when sports fans refuse to wash a jersey because last time they wore it, their team won.

There is power in positive thinking. I’m just trying to elaborate on ways of harnessing that power and using to improve your enjoyment of time on earth.

I do not believe that Himalayan Salt Lamps are purifying to the air or those around it – but I have one in my apartment because I like the purifying notion of it.  I do not believe that crystals have any scientific power over my health, but when I’m feeling very stressed and I spend a minute clutching my sapphire, I don’t care if the crystal is the reason I feel better – I just enjoy the feeling of betterment. I don’t know that inhaling lavender before going to sleep helps me to sleep more soundly and easily, but I know that I sleep as such after inhaling lavender. While I have a profound respect for science and research, I don’t need science to tell me the things I already know. And neither do you. You can have faith in both science and yourself at the same time without a conflict of interest.

Massage is another great way to incorporate holistic approaches into your self-care. Even as an attorney, I would treat myself to one massage a month as it promoted self-care and countered my overly-excited exercise regime at that time. But it has come to stand for a lot more in my life as I’ve continued to receive massage but have made a career out of performing them for others.  My specialties are as follows:

1. Trigger Point Therapy allows me to locate and treat particularly irritable spots in soft tissue due to injury, posture, or just repetitive motion with not counter-motion. This is often reserved for those who sit at a desk looking at a computer all day.
2. Fascial Therapy massage allows the tissues to move freely after unraveling the fascia – which is the tissue surrounding all muscles and organs in the body. This helps to reduce pain, improve blood flow, and increase joint mobility.
3. Deep Tissue massage is the most well-known as the practitioner applies deep pressure into the soft tissue to digitally loosen adhesion and reduce muscle and tissue pain. This kind of massage may result in some soreness as your body adjusts to the loosened tissues.
4. Reiki is an ancient Japanese technique meaning spiritually guided life force energy. I administer this by harnessing and using life force energy between my body and the body of my client. I like to incorporate reiki into deep tissue massage, creating a deeper physical connection between myself and my client. If that sounds hokey to you, it probably won’t work on you! And that’s ok!

Meditation doesn’t have to be a big event, a journey, or a guided breathing endeavor. It certainly can be these things and I do believe it contributes to a greater quality of life, but for those of us just trying to make it through a tough day at the office, an uncomfortable ride on a train or plane, or just a bad day – taking a moment to center yourself and your emotions can greatly improve your overall wellbeing. If you’re having a lot of trouble, I think Code Brew developed an app that walks you through the process. My meditative guidance for first-timers is as follows:

1. Make yourself as comfortable as you can in your environment – you cannot always change your environment but you can almost always change your relationship to it. So if you’re sitting cross-legged on the M-train, responding to emails on your phone, put your phone in your pocket and place the bottoms of both your feet on the floor. Rest your arms at your sides or in your lap. Close your eyes and allow your body to sway to the rhythm of the train. Ignore distractions. Just be as comfortable as your environment will allow.
3. Begin to relax, breathing gently in three-part intervals: 1. Deep breath in for three seconds, 2. Hold it at the top of the breath for three seconds, 3. Deep breath out for three seconds. Repeat. Doing this alone for one full minute may drastically change and improve your day.
4. If you are in a comfortable environment and able to let yourself really sink into it, you’ll start to develop your guiding images, experiences or mantras. I like to consider something in the world that makes me happy over which I have literally no control as it helps to put into perspective the things over which I do have control. Deep breath in, that’s the sun rising one morning. Hold it at the top, this is the passage of that one day blessed by the sun having risen. Deep breath out, this is the setting of the sun and the closing of the day.
5. Coming out of a meditation is a return to awareness. I like to start at the bottom, becoming aware of my toes, wiggling my toes. Become aware of my feet and ankles, flexing them. Becoming aware of my legs ending at the floor where my feet are planted, and adjusting my legs. Becoming aware of my fingers, wiggling them. Becoming aware of my hands and wrists, flexing them. Becoming aware of my arms at my side or in my lap, and adjusting them. Becoming aware of my head, mind and neck, turning it from side to side and nodding it up and down. Becoming aware of my heart, reconnecting it to my head. And then waking it all up and carrying on with the day whether it’s sunrise, daytime, sunset, or night.